Making moves silently. When you come comfortable with who you are and finally find what's worth it all. That is when Enlightenment and Abundance happen.
Not knowing how to deal with the enormity of my loss and grief, I threw myself into self education and activities, never missing a day of self care and trying to control my emotions.
Research suggests that when we turn toward our cravings, we are less likely to engage in addictive behaviors; when we turn toward our physical pain, we are less likely to be trapped in cycles of chronic pain; when we turn toward our sadness, we are less likely to be stuck in depression; and when we turn toward our anxiety, we are less likely to be paralyzed by it and can find it easier to bear.
Learning to embrace dark emotions brought not only a significant reduction in my anxiety, but an ability to experience the joys of life more fully and a growing trust in my ability to handle life’s challenges. As a stroke survivor, coach and newly author, I have also seen tremendous healing with my clients as they have learned to embrace their difficult emotions.
If we want to live more fully and be our most authentic selves, we need to turn towards our pain, not try to suppress it. But what can help us get there? The tools of mindful attention, self-compassion, and acceptance—which all come together.
Step into the unknown:
Imagine that you are opening the door and welcoming your emotions in. From this perspective, you can take a gentle and curious look at what is there.
Often people will picture their emotions as having some kind of color, shape, or form; sometimes they envision their emotions as younger parts of themselves. Part of the practice is simply to accept whatever arrives.
This is a new experience for most people. Who wants to let anxiety in the door? Who wants to welcome in sadness or anger? But when we let in whatever arrives, and see it from a bit of a distance, we can take a curious look and explore what is there.
2. Be present in what comes:
Mindfully observing what we are feeling can help us cope with whatever is before us. It can be useful to name our feelings (Oh, that’s resentment; that’s fear; that’s attachment) because, as simple as this sounds, we often don’t pay attention to the nuances of what we are feeling. Labeling our distressing emotions gives us a way of validating our inner experience, but it has the added benefit of dialing down their intensity.
It can also be beneficial to see our emotional “visitors” as temporary guests.
3. Give yourself the gift of being aware:
Besides pushing away unwanted feelings, many of us have been conditioned to judge our emotions in negative ways. We’ve learned that if we show sadness, it’s a sign of weakness; that we are a bad person if we feel anger or jealousy; that we should “move on” when we experience loss. When we come face to face with difficult emotions, we often tell ourselves to suck it up and stop being silly or that there’s something wrong with us.
When we can learn to sit mindfully with our own emotions, and bring compassion to whatever we are experiencing, it’s as if we have become empowered by sitting with our thoughts. Learning to be there for ourselves, through the positive moments as well as the painful ones, can be tremendously healing.
While embracing our dark emotions takes courage and practice, reading Beautifully Empowered: The Gift Of Gratitude allows you to open to a gift on the other side. Each time we practice being with our difficult emotions, we grow inner resources, learn to trust in our capacity to handle our experiences, develop resilience for moving through life’s challenges, and find ways to pursue what truly matters.
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